Happy Anniversary

It has been 10 years. Yeah January 8th 1997 we both said I do. And we began our journey together.

We are two very different kinds of individuals. Though the general ideals and policies remain the same our styles of executing the ideas differ. He is practical, prosaic…..sometimes too predictable and thus a bit boring. I am poetic, irrational….sometimes bordering on being crazy. He believes in being steady, with emotions under check…tone well modulated. I am emotional, my tone reflects my moods….intense and passionate…capable of infecting others with euphoria or depression. I never grew up and even though he is the seventh child…the youngest …he was mature from early years.

We have been an attractive couple……actually complementing each other. With my eye on the stars and his on thorns and stones on ground we stayed accident free in the right orbit.

But our life decisions have been interesting.

When he first met he believed I was doing MSc. By the time he discovered I was doing MBBS…. his heart was already set on me. When the date for marriage was finalized I was in first year of Pediatrics. With hardly 15 days of holidays we began our married life.

The first year was tough on me. With emergencies and calls and studies…..with seniors and juniors and learning and teaching. In February 1997 he resigned from Nuclear Power Corporation India situated at Kakrapar, near Surat. He wanted to grow….to explore the possibilities in the private sector. I was in the hostel in Surat. We never realized how tough it would be stay away from each other.

We faced few important events……mum was operated for incision hernia, he developed jaundice and I broke my fifth metatarsal. The college had its level of politics and first year of residency its pressures on. My brother got married

During this phase our friendship with Shashidhar was consolidated. For once Jaison was ready to accept a person as a true friend and bold enough to let his vulnerabilities known to someone else.

He joined Kakinada, Rolls Royce Power. That was hard on him. He yearned for family, his wife….and children. But things were not as simple.

One to two letters a day…our letter boxes were never empty. We were like new lovebirds……pining for each other…. The STD booths became our favorite stops….Archie’s shops had good business.

By early 98 we were almost tired of this arrangement. I still had two more years to go. He started frantically searching for a job in Gujarat. He landed it in Reliance Jamnagar. But Jamnagar was still far from Surat.

Everything seemed wrong at Jamnagar. The place, the job, the people……and we were far. Then the cyclone hit at Jamnagar.

And he was on road. Hours on road…seeing the buses topple in front ….the roofs flying….ripped apart like cardboard….and life was not so sure to sustain.

The telephone lines were cut. I didn’t know what was happening …where he was or how.

He managed to communicate after two days…saying he will see me in Ahmedabad at Shashidhar’s wedding.

We met…he after a bad episode of gastroenteritis…and I after worrying sick.

In August 98 he landed a job in Bharuch…Powergen. My third year had begun. Life was simpler. The company was short of residential facility. So he was given hotel accommodation where he could allow his wife in.

That was the honeymoon. Viramgam Passenger became our favorite train and we felt like we were in heaven sitting at the doorstep in the compartment. The farms, huts and cattle…the rivers and streams…the small towns and stations weaved dreams. Shalimaar Hotel was our resort. It was a hideaway of two pining hearts…in love.

In January 1999 I finished my MD. And he got the colony accommodation. And the bride was ready to set the home for the first time.

One month of break and then I wanted to work. The colony was a little remote and jobs for a doctor few. I landed one in Sewashram Hospital in February 1999. But soon got fed up for lack of patients. Young and enthusiastic…eager to reach the rural populace……I wanted to work.

Jhagadia was a far fetched option. SEWA rural (http://sewarural.org ) was the kind of place my heart wanted to be in. It was around 80 kms from our colony. There was the bridge over Narmada River to cross. And I had to be 24 hrs available for calls. It was a tough life…but my heart was set.

No I didn’t have to force it on Jaison. I didn’t. I clearly remembered his condition…., “once your studies are over you would stay and work at or near my place of work.”

“You are sure you want this”. “Will you be able to handle the pressure??” “Do you want our child to be born here??”

And that was it. We were in Jhagadia. I was pregnant. I was doing what my heart desired. And I felt fulfilled. The children were around….the rural population in need of a good doctor….the new angels born at a rate I couldn’t believe. We would struggle to keep the prematures alive…and feel blessed and rewarded when we succeeded. Anilbhai, Lataben, Bankimbhai, Pankajbhai….the staff…the people….the prayers…the philosophy….I felt complete.

But it was a tough call on Jaison. Shifts and the tough drive home. He was happy to be a part of the SEWA rural. He was a cherished person with his natural warmth and kindness. But he was exhausted.
His parents came to keep me company. And we went for walks in the village side watching the peacocks and the cattle grazing.

Joel was born in December 29 1999.

Life was beautiful. But the regular rides on the bike were already taking its toll on Jaison. In November 2000 I resigned from SEWA rural. It was a difficult decision. I knew fully well what I was leaving. I also knew I may not be able to get it back ever again.

We shifted back to the colony. This time we had the house full. Joel, Heeral, he and me. It was bliss. I was out of work for three months. And then I landed a job at Bharuch in the district hospital.

Here I learnt what a government set up meant. There are policies which are not practical and cash flow vanishing somewhere in between. I was surprised how the eggs allocated to the malnourished kids went into someone’s ration. My ideals were challenged, put to test. I was perplexed at the ordinary man’s problems, at the apathy of the medical team, at the ease with which illegal activities went on. Here I saw at close distance the hard core muslims and the armed bajrang dal.

The earthquake and then the riots …..it was as if the entire ugliness was out there to see. I felt suffocated.

I was pregnant again. And actively considered leaving my job. I wanted to be part of a team having cleaner regulations and better ambience. I had been here from April 2001 to February 2003.

The offer from UAE was least expected. It arrived with my daughter Catherine on October 29, 2002. I didn’t have even a passport. I was reluctant, scared….but agreed.

Jaison joined Shuweihat CMS International in March 2003. I followed him. Ruwais was not like the desert I expected. I set in with homemaking.

One year without work started showing on my esteem. I started developing self doubts. Getting a job in Ruwais was the next difficult step. I couldn’t do it. I was desperate. I yearned to be useful….to contribute…to be called a doctor. I started posting my CV …anywhere I could.

Jaison was hurt, worried…and didn’t know how to handle this. His smart girlfriend had already turned into an under confident, dependent cribbing wife.

“Hey, I got a call from Dubai. That guy wants to meet. He says he wants to recruit me.”

Jaison was scared…to agree or disagree. “Do you have any idea Dubai is 409 kms from here. This is not our country. I can’t leave you alone to work. And I can’t work up and down with you.”

I was in no mood to listen. I was beginning to disintegrate and knew I had to take some sort of step in some direction.

When we came to Dubai….we knew nothing about it. In last 1 year we never visited it. We had no idea how we will get the support we needed. He was concerned and had none to share …and I was moving as if under a spell.

Faith works…it did. Dubai was everything it boasted of. The people were friendly….I met Kerala here….the support system was there….and thus we took off….

Yeah Jaison worked at Ruwais and I at Dubai….and we have a feeling we have been here before. The kids are doing great. Life is good. We are still romantic. Professionally he is better off. I am working and have time for kids.

And today is our tenth anniversary. I have work and he too. I considered driving to him….but yeah his practical sense has rubbed into me. He gifted me with a ruby set…a bit unlike him….in advance. He has been tied to his work and studies (MBA) lately.

But I missed him.

The day is already rolling by….and I feel sick….lonely…I am fed up of this arrangement now…..but he says unless I or he land a good job on other side this has to go on. No, he was never the story book’s romance kinds. No uncertainties. No unpredictabilities. He has work tomorrow and I know it is futile to hope he will be crazy to drive in for few hours. But he could be crazy for once!!!

I had chosen one old dress to wear. Back from a birthday party already tired. Yeah congratulations Beji….10 years huh!!

Someone was at the door…yeah Catherine’s friend’s jacket was with us. Taking it in my hand I opened the door.

It was not a dream……standing there was my husband…a decade old now….looking still like the young hopeful boy back then…..

With gift in one hand….tired after the long drive….I lost myself once again in him…..hey!! It’s ok to be poetic for a change!!!

Happy Anniversary !! It has been a roller coaster ride….but thank God you are there with me.