Driving lessons

My hubby is a good teacher. From PC to cars …it was he who painstakingly led me through. Electronic gadgets and automobiles were a strict no-no to me.

After three years of our marriage when I landed a job of Pediatrician in a hospital he decided it was time I drove a car. I was reluctant to leave the ease of driving my beloved Scooty. Three falls and a scarred chin was not to deter my love for the beauty which still was able to bring a twinkle in my eyes.

But my hubby decided otherwise.

The first class went in explaining the responsibility of driving a car. He stressed why a car was not like a two wheeler where you put a pedestrian at a considerably major risk if you are careless.

The second dealt with the safety issues. What would happen if you pressed an accelerator in place of the break? What would be the results of leaving your windows open (theft!! I knew that!). What can happen if you lock the car with the keys inside (you have to wait for an eternity till the key are located in some vague place which you have forgotten and brought to you. Man hours wasted not to be mentioned. I practically discovered that. ) What could happen if you let the AC on without the engine on. What could happen if you left the headlights on (Jump start!!)

The third class dealt with the mechanics involved. I was introduced to the concept of how gears work.
“Motors have low torque and high speed. Usually we need high torque and low speed. Gears are used:
To convert the motion from a fast electric motor that has low torque, to a slow motion with high torque (which is useful to push a robot).
To transfer motion from one shaft to another while keeping the shafts synchronized
If you turn the small gear, the big gear goes slower.
If you turn the big gear, the small gear goes faster.
The slow one has more torque (it can push harder). This is good for moving robots, arms, etc.
The fast one has less torque, but more speed. This is good for fans and automobiles and anything where you need speed but not much torque.
By using a series of gears, called a "gear train," you can get speed reductions or speed increases of 1 to several hundred.”
“I hope that it is clear what gear 1 to gear 4 means.” I nodded. “That should be reason enough for you to shift your gears gradually unless otherwise is warranted.
The fourth class was about how to save fuel and how to avoid unnecessary wear and tear of the vehicle. “Don’t press brakes when you anticipate you need to slow down. Just leave the accelerator.” “Don’t use AC if the climate is pleasant and your speed less”. “Always press the clutch to the fullest to make the gear shift smooth”. “Don’t drive with handbrakes on “.
The fifth day I was enrolled for driving classes. My trainer was extremely happy to have me as a student. “Natural reflexes!! You are not scared. You are doing very well!!” I would beam after each class and tell him. He would say “That’s all nice. Keep your head above your shoulders.”
I got the license and the car was due to arrive any day. Hyundai Santro….what a pleasure it was to have it then.
What happened next deserves another post. But all I learnt about driving I owe to my hubby. All that I refused to learn to my overconfidence.

How genuine!!

What I admire most in my husband is also what I find most irritating in him. If he says yes or no….he means it. He doesn’t have any ulterior motive, any secret wish to please me, he is not trying to manipulate. His words exactly mean what he says. I could look at him hoping he doesn’t mean what he is saying, I could simply stare sheepishly and wish he would choose kinder words than the kindness he feels, I could pray that he will mellow down the tone, I could wish he would inject some joy in the happiness he feels, I could wish that he would be a little sad when he accepts defeat. But it is matter of fact. The words are purely intended for what he is saying…nothing more…nothing less.

He is genuine….and that is so rare….finding it in him elates me….

Since I don’t always choose to be genuine….his being genuine at times irritates me…..

Because it is sometimes beyond my capacity….. I admire it in him….

The Proposal

Whenever I think of how my husband proposed me; I smile.

One day he just walked up to me and said, “I am born on 19th September 1969. I have done my BTech. from Trichur Engineering College. I draw a salary of Rs.10, 000. I was pursuing my M Tech when I landed up this job. Due to the financial obligations of my family I preferred a job to studies. I am the 7th child in our family. I have 5 sisters and shoulder the responsibilities required of me. I love my parents and expect that my wife should hold them in the highest esteem. We are financially not very well off and have known sheer poverty. I am proud of where I came from.

Will you marry me??

I may not pursue higher education. Though I have no objection if you would like to. I am comfortable accepting that you would be. I hope you give a thorough thought to the fact that I would be just a graduate. Kindly ask yourself how much this fact can bother you. I can’t promise that I would give you all the material happiness but I will keep you well provided and I will always love you.

I asked, “Why do you want to marry me?”
He answered, “You are so lovable....and I feel you would love me...”

I asked, “Is that all?”
He said, “Yes.”

I asked, “If I say no?”
He answered, “I would respect that.”

I asked, “Would you be heart broken?”
He answered, “No.”

I asked, “What if your parents say no?”
He answered, “They love me and believe in my choice.”

I said, “I would need time to think it over.”
He said, “You MUST give it as much thought as you can....let me know when you reach an answer. I will wait.”

He left. The next day I said YES.

And I have never regretted my decision.

Love

For my husband love has only one definition......the one given in bible .....
I quote
The Bible says:
1 Corinthians chapter 13 (TEV)
1 I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.
2 I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains-but if I have no love, I am nothing.
3 I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned-but if I have no love, this does me no good.
4 Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; 5 love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; 6 love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. 7 Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.
8 Love is eternal.
unquote

Time and again he sat with me explaining what love is....living this definition everyday of his life...and inspiring me to live so

Our first meeting

It was a beautiful evening of January……13th of Jan 1993 to be precise……I had my first chance meeting with my would be husband….chance…because I was looking for a chance to be introduced to him. What followed was a deliberate attempt from my side to charm……charm him beyond any practical consideration. It was after a recent setback in my romantic adventures. I was in a mood to strike back at the world…..at the cost of anybody’s emotions.

He was more amused than charmed…..and held in his eyes an affection beyond my expectation…….or comprehension. He didn’t grab me……just let me be….he didn’t ask for anything ….just opted to give….and cared for me most when I was at my worst.

My loneliness melted away…..I had a strange confidence in just being myself…..

I was scared……

He was too good to be true….but I was so glad he came…I was grateful..

Shukriya

Kya tha un nigahon mein…
Jo de gaya sahara….?
Kahin mere gam ko…
Kahin bebasi ko….

Apni hi gahraayiyon mein girthe utharthe…
Har khwaab ko khilonon ki tharah toot-the dhekhthe…
Thaq gayi thi….
Toot gayi thi….
Tab kahaan se aaye the thum ??

Na the thum sahaare…
Na the thum kinaare…
Na manzil the…
Na raastha….

Kya the ??
Kyun The??
Kisliye the ??
Haan kuch tho the thum hamaare….

Un aankho mein
Na khwaabon ka kaarwan tha….
Na waasna ki aag…
Sharm se sharmaai tho nahin thi main….
Kuch toote hue khwaabon mein lipti khadi…
Kisi bachchi ki hi tharah nihaara tha thumhe…..

Vishaal lage the thab…
Aur na jaane kyun …
Us vishaaltha mein kho jaane ka mann kar gaya….

Haan mann !!
Kal ki tharah aaj bhi chanchal…

Kuch aagah us chanchaltha ko kiya…
Kuch un nigaahon ko andhekha kiya….
Par kya tha us smith mein jo mujhe muskara kar chala gaya….
Kuch hansa kar chala gaya…
Kuch gudguda kar chala gaya….

Kaun ho thum ??
Koi farishthei ho kya ??
Ya mere khuda ka koi paigaam ??

Thum na kal the mere….
Na shayad kal hoge mere….

Par shukriya jo aaj chale aaye…..